Meta-Cognition versus the Monkey Mind
I wanted to talk about my recent experiences with mindfulness meditation today. Most of these things only started to develop as I started doing guided meditations and listening to dharma talks again. I otherwise used to just meditate in silence each morning.
One thing that I’m noticing is that I’m starting to develop some sort of “background process” in my mind that keeps interrupting me to tell me that I’m thinking. This is useful for meditation to have that sort of “notification” pop up when a thought arises so I can just let the thought float away, but it gets really annoying when I’m going about my day thinking about things and that notification keeps popping up in my mind, telling me that I’m thinking about things. I know I’m thinking about things – that’s the point. I need to think deeply about a problem at work and now is not the time for me to stop thinking about it.
I’ll be clear: It’s not nearly as bad as I just made it out to be. What I just described makes it sound like I’m going insane, but it’s hardly that. It only comes up every now and then. Sometimes, if I think about something cringe it makes me become cognizant of the present moment and those thoughts go away. But sometimes I think about something that is unpleasant to think about, but I really do think I need to think about in order to make some progress with my well-being. For example, thinking about a sad event with a relationship. I need to think about this more so I can have some closure on the topic. Or losing a job – you can avoid thinking about it, but you need to start thinking about your strategy for getting re-employed ASAP. You have to confront these uncomfortable thoughts.
It’s almost as if I need another level of meta-cognition. I need to be cognizant that I’m telling myself to stop thinking about this, but at the same time I need to tell myself “no, you need to keep thinking about this.” But that second layer of meta-cognition isn’t as useful as just being drowned in your thoughts without noticing that you can escape them. If I didn’t have the first level of meta-cognition (the “notification” process), then I would just get lost in my thoughts and feel as though I have no escape. So I’d have no choice but to confront these bad thoughts.
It’s like being forced to jump into a cold bath versus being free to choose to do it or not, but relying on your own will-power to make the right decision. Being forced into something is always going to be more effective.
I never thought that the monkey mind was ever a really useful concept. The goal I’ve been having since taking up meditation has always been to free my mind from the constraints of my monkey mind that jumps to and fro to random thoughts and emotions. But it seems like, sometimes, you really need that automatic processing so that your lack of awareness forces you into doing things that are good for you.